Chapter 2.1: Beware of the "Beauty" Trap: Steering Clear of Subjective Social Stereotypes

 

When everyone in the world thinks it knows what to regard as beautiful, 

there is ugliness – and that is ugly in and of itself.  

When everyone thinks it knows what is best – that might not be the best.

All social standards are subjective and create stereotypes. When a subjective social standard of what is beautiful is widely accepted and acknowledged by everyone, it automatically creates its opposite "ugliness" for all those who do not “fit” and that is despicable and ugly.  Every day we are bombarded with subjective stereotypes of "beauty."  Airbrushed images, doctored photos, and fake, fanciful facades  are all around us.  Every advertisement, every magazine at the grocery store checkout aisle, social media posts, TV shows, films -- they all perpetuate (willingly or unwittingly) a subjective social stereotype that is unrealistic, inauthentic, and disingenuine.  The truth is EVERYONE IS BEATIFUL  and amazing, unique and talented in our own ways regardless of whether or not society recognizes it.  Why should we accept the limiting labels imposed on us by a highly sexualized society and contrived culture whose subjective standards of "beauty" give unhealthy preference to only a superficial appearance and don’t account for the whole person mind, body, and spirit, thereby automatically and inherently excluding the majority of its members and reducing those who "fit" the mold down to just an objectified image of a physical form?  That is ugly.  That is despicable!  A tragic and heartbreaking example of this comes from Qing Dynasty China (1644-1911), where small feet were regarded as attractive by the ruling Manchurian elites, which resulted in the abusive atrocities of foot-binding against women.  How many women suffered untold pain because of this?  In an age of plastic surgery and implants, in what ways do we still bind ourselves to subjective standards of beauty?  How many of us suffer in silence because of it?  How many of us feel that we can never measure up?  Any subjective stereotype or coercive construct of beauty imposed upon us by ourselves or others is bondage.  Don’t buy into it.  Don't fall for the "beauty" trap (or should I say booty trap?)!.  We are not just an assemblage of body parts to be rated and reviewed!  We are not our skin, hair, or eye colors, the curvature of our breasts or buttocks, our bulging biceps or our washboard abs!  We are so much more than that!  Our bodies are only part of who we are, they are vehicles by which we experience life and the abode of our spirits, our hearts, our souls.  To walk the Way is to stay away and steer clear of subjective social stereotypes, to just let ourselves and everyone else be our true, authentic selves -- that's where our true beauty lies. So give yourself permission to be your own beautiful!

The same goes for what is best.  When everyone thinks they know what is "best" for everyone else, that is actually not the best situation.  It creates social and peer pressure to conform and fit in for fear of being ostracized, rejected, or marginalized.  Neither society nor government, culture or community should get to tell us what is best for us.  That is ours to discover and embrace.  For when society and culture undertake to dictate what is best for everyone else, it automatically creates a "worst" and a spectrum of perceived compliance and dissent in between, rejecting and excluding those who don’t “fit in” or “measure up” to the subjective sentiments of society.  There is more than one way to live a good life.  Who am I to tell anyone else how they should live their lives?  That said, I'm not saying that we can't share what works for us or what has helped us along the way.  Nor am I saying that we shouldn't turn to respected and helpful sources of inspiration for our lives such as education, religion, philosophy, virtue, or ethics.  What I am saying is that it is our choice and our opportunity to seek out what is best for our lives and our circumstances, to find tools, collect resources, embrace empowering and ennobling truths, and become who we want to be.  Moreover, it is our privilege and responsibility to give everyone else that same space and freedom to search and find their "best" with tolerance, mutual respect, and encouragement and without preconceived prejudice or jaded judgments. ~ DCB

 


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