Chapter 17: Four Principles of Superior Leadership

The best leaders are those whose subordinates know that they are there for them;

The next best leaders see and are seen by their subordinates and are praised by them;

Next are those leaders who are feared by and threaten their subordinates;

Next are those who are reviled by their subordinates 

– everyone’s criticism flows like a woman’s hair.

When there is insufficient trust in upper leadership, 

there is untrustworthiness among subordinates.

Even when far away, people value their words.

When successes are achieved and matters attended to, 

the masses all proclaim: “we did it on our own.”

This passage describes the Way of a Leader.  The best leaders are those whose subordinates know that their leaders are there for them.  The next best are those who see – and are seen by – their subordinates as whole people rather than just an object or an asset to be used.  Such leaders are approachable and show up for their subordinates in holistic ways.  They create a familial feeling and, as such, are lauded and praised by their subordinates for their caring and concerned approach to leadership. 

Conversely, the worst leaders rely on fear and threats.  They are unapproachable.  Deep down they fear that their subordinates will get in their way or fail to help them pursue their own objectives.  They feel threatened by both the success and failures of their subordinates and create contentious cultures and antagonistic atmospheres.  The worst leaders are also incompetent and universally criticized.  Everyone has a bad experience to share about this type of leader and their mishandling and mismanagement of matters.

Examining the leadership portrayals in this passage reveals four principles of superior leadership that we can adopt.  First, we can be open to feedback.  While there is almost always some criticism of leadership decisions, a superior leader reflects on such criticism rather than seeing it as a personal attack and getting defensive.  A superior leader is accountable for their mistakes rather than blaming others or making excuses and looks for ways to increase personal competencies and interpersonal skills.  Far too often we only surround ourselves with groupies, fans, and “yes” men and women who don’t challenge us to reflect on our blind spots and shortcomings.  While we need people in our lives who can accept and encourage us unconditionally and who are like-minded, it is also important to surround ourselves and engage with diverse voices and opinions.  We can choose not to shy away from or feel threatened by feedback.

Second, leadership is about influence not authority.  As the adage goes, “people don’t care how much you know (or what you can do), until they know how much you care.  To become a superior leader, we can choose be approachable and authentic rather than aloof and distant.  We can choose to see those around us holistically as whole people with lives, dreams, and challenges and we can acknowledge and honor that by engaging and connecting with those around us.  Moreover, we can show up authentically ourselves instead of putting up walls, false fronts, and Potemkin Villages.  We can choose to let go of our need to be seen a certain way and just be ourselves.  By doing so, we give those around us permission to be themselves as well.  The need to remain aloof and unapproachable is almost always rooted in fear – fear of (mis)judgment, feelings of personal insufficiency, or feeling threatened and in competition with others in one way or another.  This always creates separation and isolation from others.  Superior leaders avoid viewing their subordinates as either obstacles in the way of or stepping stones on the way to their goals.  They act as champions for their teams, go to bat for their people, and side with them.  They create an allied front, an “us vs. the problem” mentality instead of a divided “me vs. everyone else” mentality.  We can choose to ally ourselves with those around us, look for common ground, and build bridges instead of creating antagonistic relationships based on competition, fear, and threat.  We can demonstrate that we are on the same side as those around us, that we have their backs, and are rooting for them. 

Third, superior leaders are honest and trustworthy in word and deed.  They say what they mean and mean what they.  They don’t mince words or use words as weapons to obscure, manipulate, or outsmart others.  Their word is their bond.  Superior leaders understand the influence that their character and conduct has on all those around them.  They influence others through their integrity so much so that even when leaders are far away, their words are still valued.

Fourth, superior leaders enable those around them to find their own solutions and solve their own problems.  They facilitate rather than dominate; they empower rather than micromanage; they entrust rather than control. Superior leaders understand that it’s not all about them and don’t need to take credit for everything.  Instead they practice "unmediated action" (wuwei) and graciously acknowledge the achievements and contributions of those around them. They allow others to have their moment of fame, their time to shine, and their turn in the limelight.  So can we. ~ DCB

Etymology Notes: The Chinese character “to criticize” 侮 (wu3) is comprised of a person on the left 亻and a woman with beautiful long hair 每 on the right.  This character also means “every.”  The sound comes from the bottom half 母 (mu3), which refers to a mother or a grown woman. It is also closely related to 毋 (wu3), a negative.  Taken together, 侮 refers to the negative things that people say.