Chapter 26.1: Self-Valuation

Weight is the root for light,

Value is the root for slight,

The load is the root for the empty cart.

We live in a world that is constantly weighing, measuring, and judging us.  Have you ever felt slighted, lightly-esteemed by others, or undervalued?  Have you ever felt misjudged or that the scales were tipped against you because of how you looked or what you believed?  Worse yet, have you ever slighted, diminished, or thought of yourself as insignificant?  Sometimes we strip ourselves down to nothing but an empty frame – just a shell of who we really are – or allow others to do so.  When we do so or allow others to do so, we need to reconnect with our roots.  To do so, we need to first get to the root of the problem and address our self-valuation.  It is not what other people think of and believe about us that is important, but rather what we believe about ourselves that is the root of the problem.  So, when we feel slighted, undervalued, or misjudged, we can make a choice to value and esteem ourselves as beings of great significance and importance in this world.  Each of us is a precious treasure, a sacred vessel.  We matter.  The world may see and label us as worthless, failure, broken, or less than.  The world may esteem us as a thing of naught, but the truth is that we are more than an assemblage of body parts to be put on display and objectified for other people’s amusement.  We are not meant to just be an empty frame, we are an armored vehicle filled with precious cargo.

Imagine our lives as a journey.  On this journey through life, we have a cart that holds all the most important and significant things that we carry with us.  What are we filling our carts with?  Frivolous factoids and mindless memes?  Grudges and regrets?  Fears and doubts?  Who are we allowing to load up our lives and what are we allowing them to place on our personal carts?  What is important to you?  What things matter?  What do you think is significant?  Weighty?  What are the anchors that keep you rooted and grounded?   There is a lot of lighthearted and light-minded lunacy out there, we can entertain ourselves to death and never do anything significant.  We can get carried away and allow ourselves to be used by others. 

In contrast, wise people or sages carefully contemplate what they value and intentionally inspect what they are bringing into their lives.  So can we.  It is time to ask ourselves: do I really need or want this in my life?  Do I want to drag other peoples’ garbage around?  The limiting labels and belittling beliefs that people have thrown onto our carts?  Recently, Latter-day Saint Christian Apostle David A. Bednar gave a religious talk on the burdens we carry:  

 

“Each of us also carries a load. Our individual load is comprised of demands and opportunities, obligations and privileges, afflictions and blessings, and options and constraints. Two guiding questions can be helpful as we periodically and prayerfully assess our load: ‘Is the load I am carrying producing the spiritual traction that will enable me to press forward with faith ... and avoid getting stuck? Is the load I am carrying creating sufficient spiritual traction so I ultimately can return home …?’  Sometimes we mistakenly may believe that happiness is the absence of a load. But bearing a load is a necessary and essential part of the plan of happiness. Because our individual load needs to generate spiritual traction, we should be careful to not haul around in our lives so many nice but unnecessary things that we are distracted and diverted from the things that truly matter most.”   

Whether we are Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Agnostic, or Atheist there is a principle here worth reflecting on. Do the things we carry around with us in our lives give us more traction when trials and tribulations come our way?  Do the things that we value motivate us to dig in and push through when the Way gets muddied in our lives?  Or do they leave us stuck and spinning our wheels?  It is the things that we choose to value that either ground us and serve as our roots or as burdens.  So are they connecting us to our core being or to something outside of ourselves in attempt to curry favor and find our worth out there somewhere?  

I recently had serendipitous encounter with award-winning actress, motivational speaker, best-selling author, and hearing impaired comedian, Kathy Buckley.  We had a lovely conversation before she went on to speak at the Air Force National Character & Leadership Symposium (NCLS).  She delivered a powerful message entitled, “No Labels, No Limits.”  With her unique blend of humor, wit, and passion, she had the audience rollicking and roaring in laughter one minute and weeping with tear-filled eyes and touched hearts the next.  After the show, I was given the great gift and privilege to speak with her one-on-one for precious minutes that I will cherish the rest of my life.  She challenged me to take out the trash I'd been carrying around in my life – to get rid of the garbage I had piled up and allowed other to heap onto my cart.  Most importantly, she encouraged to forgive – myself and everyone for all the garbage I had hung on to. To my new friend Kathy, I wish to say: “Thank you.  Words cannot express, nor print convey, my gratitude for giving me the tender care and swift kick in the pants that I needed.” ~ DCB

Translation & Etymology Notes

The Chinese character 重 (zhòng) means heavy, weighty, significant, esteemed, valued, and to emphasize.  Originally written 𡍴, it is comprised of a person  亻above a package 東 over clay or earth 土.  Taken together, these elements depict a person carrying or even dragging a heavy load.  What are we hauling around in our lives?  Is it time to maybe empty out the bag and make sure the load we are carrying is important and not just weighing us down?

The antonym of heavy is 輕 (qīng; simplified: 轻), meaning light, lightweight, and to slight. The imagery here is of a light, empty, cart frame (輕), that is not carrying anything, is undervalued, underutilized, or that is not fulfilling its intended purpose.  In conveying the polysemic nature of this word, I have thus offered a triple translation of the four-character idiom 重为轻根.  When we feel slighted, undervalued, or misjudged it is the weight, the value, and the estimation we place upon ourselves as well as the load that we choose to carry – the things that we deem valuable and important in our lives – that ground us and give us traction and purpose in our lives.