Chapter 12.3: Five Sagely Practices to Restore Balance to Life, Part III: Gratitude

 Hard to come by objects make people do obstructive things –

This is why the sage acts from the core and not the eyes. 

As such he discards all of that and lays hold of this.

As with the experience of thrill seeking, the same principle also applies to rampant consumerism – particularly when it is coupled with the belief that the things we own somehow make us more valuable or worthwhile.  There is nothing inherently wrong with purchasing or accumulating nice things.  The problem is when we place our identity or affix our worth to those external commodities or when we feel like we have to show off or showcase ourselves or what we own to enhance our worth.  When we do so, we can become so desperate to seek validation through those things that we can do regrettable, unethical, and even harmful things – things that obstruct our true selves and that get in the way of others.  As entrepreneur and lifestyle guru Tim Ferris has aptly taught, “Money doesn't change you; it reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice.”  Money or the pursuit of money has a way of revealing more of what is already inside of us.  

When it comes to commodities and material goods, we can practice gratitude for what we have.  As essayist, philosopher, and abolitionist Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) wrote, "Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." In the lyrics of singer Sheryl Crow, "It's not having what you want, It's wanting what you've got!"  At the same time, we can always remember that our financial circumstances or our material wealth do not have to define us. The truth is there is nothing out there that can diminish or enhance what is inside of us.  Our worth is not determined by the clothes we wear, the car we drive, or the house we live in.  We are already unique, a precious and irreplaceable individual in this world with a purpose and a message.

This is why, as wise people, we can focus on doing things that strengthen and nourish our core, our inner being, instead of just doing superficial things that will make us look better or more desirable on the outside.  As thought leader Roy T. Bennett has said, "Pursue what catches your heart, not what catches your eyes."  We are more than just eye candy.  We are more than just objects to be rated and used, posted and re-tweeted.  We are more than vehicles or stepping stones to help others get what they want.  We are being of power and purpose.  We can let go of the subjective social stereotypes and cultural constructs.  We can liberate ourselves from negative names and limiting labels and get off the roller coaster of constant comparisons.  We can eliminate external expectations.  We can kick all of that out of our lives and hold on to things that really matter – real relationships, core characteristics, our true identity and worth, and our purpose and passion projects.  We can clear away the clutter of our lives, restore balance and moderation, and limit distractions.  We can invest in ourselves and others – in people not things.  Then we will discover that the greatest gifts and the rarest commodities lie – in our interactions with others. ~ DCB

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