Chapter 26.4: Self-Esteem

 

How could the ruler of a ten thousand chariot state regard oneself

 as being any less personally significant than everyone else under heaven?

When we feel slighted, then we lose our foundation. 

When we run about in commotion to the tweeting of others,

then we lose our power to govern ourselves.

We are often tempted to think that a ruler who has legions of troops and treasuries full of wealth would have a pretty good impression of him or herself.  In our day, how often do we think that if we just had more money, more power, more influence, then all of our problems would be solved?  How many times have we seen millionaires, celebrities, athletes, and other social icons who have all the wealth and prestige imaginable struggle with depression, divorce, and addiction?  The truth is that while money is a great resource for solving problems and doing good in the world, it does not inherently make us any better or any different than we are inside already.  As life coach and entrepreneur Tony Robbins has repeatedly taught, "Money doesn't change people, it just magnifies who they already are."  That is because a healthy, stable self-esteem cannot come from external commodities, be enhanced by the adoring praise from others or diminished by the volatile vitriol of all the haters out there.  Believing that those things add or take away from our innate worth only dooms us to the roller coaster of relative worth and the constant corkscrew of comparisons.  

Whenever we locate our worth and our identity outside of ourselves, we surrender our power to others.  Thus, every time we feel slighted by others, we cut ourselves off from our foundation, the taproot of our souls, our core selves, our anchors.  Whenever we run about at the beck and call of a merciless conditional culture that threatens to cancel us if we do not comply, or buy into their subjective social stereotypes, we give up our right and lose our power to govern ourselves.  There will never be a point in our lives where we will "arrive" in a place where we will have enough stuff, enough money, enough power, or enough prestige to compensate for what we already are inside but just are not accepting.  Instead, we can clear away the clutter of our lives and embrace our place in the universe.  We can refuse to rob ourselves of our own self-worth and choose to see ourselves as the rare and unique treasures we are.  Once we can do that for ourselves then neither the money nor the influence will be necessary to make us feel better about ourselves but can just be used to pursue our personal purpose and to give our gifts to this world. ~ DCB

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